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Posted on: 4 February 2016

Discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful is an incredibly painful experience. Some marriages are able to survive infidelity, while many others end after the discovery. Whether you decide to stay with your spouse or not, the most important thing right now is to take care of yourself and your own emotional health. Here are four ways to get through this challenging time:

Attend Marriage Counseling

Marital infidelity is always complicated and never occurs in a vacuum. You and your spouse have years of complicated history and are both most likely experiencing a wide range of emotions, including shame, sadness, and anger. A qualified marriage counselor will help you to unravel these complex feelings, make sense of what happened, and learn specific communication and coping skills. Even if your marriage ends, with the help of marriage counseling you will be able to end things in a more honest and respectful manner.

Take Breaks from the Problem

Such a dramatic marital crisis can easily become all-consuming, but you need psychological and emotional breaks. When discussing or ruminating on your spouse's infidelity, set time limits. For example, maybe you are allowed to talk to your spouse about how hurt you are and ask questions about the infidelity for an hour at a time. Once the time limit is up, give yourself permission to think about and do other things.

Practice Good Self-Care

No matter what you are feeling right now, your main duty is to take good care of yourself. Making yourself a priority will help prevent your partner's affair from taking over your entire life. Make time for things that feel good physically and emotionally, like exercise, meditation, spending time with friends, and writing your thoughts and feelings down in a journal.

Get Space If You Need It

It can be difficult to decide what to do about your marriage when you are around your spouse all the time. Some physical and emotional space can be a huge relief and give you much-needed perspective during this time of crisis. Depending on your financial and living situation, you or your spouse may need to temporarily stay with friends or family. If this is impossible, find a room within your home that is your designated space when you need privacy and a break from your marital problems.

Marital infidelity is never easy to deal with, but by following these tips you will get through this experience with your emotional health intact. For marital counseling help, talk to a professional like The Esposito Institute.